The Single Most Important Reason that People do not Achieve their Goals!

John Goddard is an amazing human being! The LA Times has called him "Real Life Indiana Jones"...and for good reason!

At age 15, he put together a set of goals called "My Life List". His list included 127 things he would like to do or see or experience during his lifetime. He is now in his mid-seventies and, at last count, has achieved 111 of his goals!

Look at some of the goals he has set and achieved.

• He has climbed Ararat, Kilimanjaro, Fiji, the Matterhorn, and the Grand Tetons
• He retraced the route of Marco Polo through all of the Middle East, Asia, and China
• He has flown 74 different types of aircraft
• He has lived with 260 different tribal groups
• He has explored the Nile, Amazon, Congo, and Colorado rivers
• He has learned to play the flute and violin
• He has published an article in National Geographic
• He has learned French, Spanish, and Arabic
• He has read the Bible from cover to cover
• He has high jumped 5 feet, broad jumped 15 feet, and ran a mile in 5 minutes
• He has learned to play polo

The list just goes on and on!

You would probably agree that this is an amazing feat. The most amazing aspect of this achievement to me is that he not only set the goals but he has actually accomplished almost all of them. Many psychologists have said that there are two major reasons he was able to reach his goals - he chose BIG DREAMS and he WROTE THEM DOWN.

I believe that there was still another reason, a reason today that severely hampers people from reaching their goals - he was able to overcome INNER RESISTANCE.

Based on my experience, I have found that the single most important reason that people do not set and achieve their goals is surrenduring to inner resistance.

A Meeting with Answers

Several years ago I was struggling with a training and development issue - why is it that some people who seem to have the necessary skills, experience, and personal qualities to achieve great things seem to settle for less...when they don't want to?

I was looking for an answer and my journey led me to meet Dr. John Kappas and members of his staff in Van Nuys, California.

John told me that people come to him for coaching and counseling to help them "break out" of old habits and patterns that are holding them back. He said that he recognized three patterns in many of his clients:

• They were in a rut – they repeated the same behavior patterns, over and over again, despite their desire to do something different
• They developed doubt in the ability to change
• They developed frustration in having settled for 2nd best

A leading culprit of this pattern was inner resistance.

How does inner resistance work?

When many people begin the process of setting goals or begin the process of achieving their goals they begin to experience discomfort. Resistance is the amount of discomfort facing the unknown. It is almost like a little voice inside of us that is saying, “Hey, c’mon you have never done anything like this before. You’re a little out of your league, aren’t you?" This is often reinforced from outside voices – "You're going to do what?"

Dr. Kappas says that this resistance comes from the part of the mind which he calls the critical mind. The goal of the critical mind is to protect the "knowns" in our life and to reject anything that is not recognized as "computing with the past". In other words, it likes to keep us where we are at.

One of the tools of the critical mind is resistance.

How do I recognize inner resistance?

Here are the forms of resistance that we often encounter when we set far-reaching goals or when we strive to achieve those goals, which often leads us to abandon the goal. How many do you recognize?

• Procrastination – we keep putting important things aside
• Avoidance – we avoid people and situations that can move us ahead
• Rationalization – we make excuses why we can’t move forward
• Forgetting – we forget to take important steps or key actions
• Confusion – we are frozen by not knowing what to do first
• "Start and Stop" patterns – we frequently start things but seldom finish
• Tiredness – Kappas calls this one an “escape mechanism” – tiredness is emotional
• Substitution – we spend time on activities that have less value but comfortable

So how do we overcome resistance?

First, recognize the reason that you are getting inner resistance and the reasons for it. This kind of self-awareness precedes change.

Secondly, act and don't think! Let me explain what I mean. If you have a worthwhile goal that interests you, identify three non-threatening action steps that will lead you to that goal, and just start with the first one. By "non-threatening" I mean three action steps that are relatively easy to perform and won’t take you way out of your comfort zone.

You see, you can act your way into a better way of thinking. These three steps will create momentum for you and will help eliminate the inertia caused by your inner resistance.

Let's say for example that you are thinking of going back to school and you are experiencing a lot of resistance. Following the second suggestion, your three action steps could be:

1. Call the Admissions Department
2. Set the appointment
3. Keep the appointment

These are relatively easy tasks but that’s not the point. The point is that you have created positive direction toward a life goal that is worthwhile to you.

A third strategy for overcoming resistance is to commit to others. Let others know what you want to accomplish and this will provide additional impetus for you to get started.

So in conclusion, think about this cage-rattling question:

"HAVE YOU EVER ABANDONED A WORTHWHILE GOAL OR DREAM BECAUSE OF INNER RESISTANCE AND A LACK OF ACTION?"

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