YOU can be a Whole Lot More Persuasive in Conflict Situations with just one tactic...starting today!

What conflict situations have you found yourself in recently?

• Was it over a decision?
• Was it over a plan?
• Was it over a service?
• Was it over a product?
• Was it over a new process?
• Was it over a change?
• Was it over a new process?
• Was it over a new hire?

Whatever our role in an organization we often find ourselves in conflict situations. Conflict seems to be a daily reality. Colleagues have differing ideas, opposing views, and contrary values. Some are minor differences and easily resolved. Some are more serious and require definite skill, and considerable time and effort. If conflicts are not resolved productively, they can become destructive in many ways, for instance:

• Interpersonal stress
• Lack of cooperation
• Win-lose competitive contests
• Political positioning
• Undermining behaviors

What is the most common approach to resolving conflict?

Based upon my experience, I have found that the most common approach to conflict resolution is to try to convince another person through talking. That is, we try to sell our thoughts by establishing ourselves as the speaker and the other person as the listener. And then, sometimes we just "hammer away" at the other person, throwing everything but the "kitchen sink" at them. Every argument imaginable is used! We try to beat them down into our way of thinking. I call this the "Tell/Sell" approach.

Is there a better way?

ASK/LISTEN
Don't Tell/Sell!

Infact, I use the Ask/Listen approach in several training sessions, such as:

• Sales Training
• Customer Service Training
• Coaching Training
• Negotiations Training
• Management and Leadership Training

Why does the Ask/Listen approach work?

The key to resolving a conflict between two people is to ensure that you have the receptivity of the other person. If another person is not receptive to you, it will be very difficult to work out a solution. We often hear people say, "Talking to that person was like talking to a wall!" Essentially, that person was not receptive.

The Ask/Listen approach increases receptivity because the other person tends to feel valued when we ask a series of non-threatening questions to gather more information regarding their point of view. Then, when we listen intently to their responses, it adds a second measure of valuing to the discussion. This leads to receptivity.

This receptivity will generally lead to cooperation, collaboration, negotiation, and compromise.

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